Friday, April 12, 2013

MESSAGE TO SPAMMERS

 
Spammer, may I introduce Bob?  And now....


I'd like to introduce Bobby.  That's me.

I think you have us confused.

Although the AOL screenname I use for my social chit-chat is BobbyGail (my birth name being Barbara Gail and having used "Bobby" as a nickname for probably longer than you have been on this earth), you seem to have us mixed up.

Quite frankly, I am getting really tired of seeing each morning in my "in-basket" a bunch of messages with the heading "BOB, Here's a new Safe Cigarette for you," or "BOB: Open this attachment" or like today's, "WANT A LOAN, BOB?"

I suppose, since you send these e-mails to BobbyGail@aol.com, you are using "Bob" to make it sound like you have some inside scoop on who I am, like we're pals or something.  Well, you might as well get it in your head right now that BOB is not going to do it.  Actually, BobbyGail isn't either, because if you look at the pictures of us, you can see that BOB is really stupid, and Bobby is not.  She's smart enough to know that you are stupid.  She will never buy what you are offering, or do what you suggest, or borrow money or anything else from you.  In fact, she is mighty irked whenever she sees BOB appearing on anything.  So save yourself a nickel and stop sending e-mails to BOB.

Now I'm sure you know I am not so stupid as to believe you will read this and take it to heart.  But I feel a whole lot better about getting it off my chest.  And in case you haven't gotten the picture yet, read my lips:

 
I'M NOT BOB!

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