ANONYMOUS WROTE....

I hate to post anything in its entirety that was written by someone else, even if its author was shown as "anonymous." Someone created this funny list below, but by the time it got to my eyes there was no author specifically named. So a tip of the hat to "anonymous" -- and a message: I'm borrowing your very funny article because reading it is a wonderful way to start the day!

BOOT ME UP, SCOTTY

At the COMDEX computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly stated, 'If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.'

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued this press release:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash - twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the road lines, you’d have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You’d have to pull over; close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. Somehow you’d simply accept this.

4. Occasionally executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you’d have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would only run on 5% of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation' light.

7. The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off.

PS - I'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call 'customer service' in
some foreign country and be instructed in another language how to fix your car yourself!

Anonymous