NEW AND OLD BLOOMERS

Being as old as I am, I probably shouldn't even concern myself with what the "latest" in the fashion industry has put forth for the young clothes horses to wear. I suppose if the designers are looking for shock value, they've finally come close to perfection if the new, stylish "bloomers" shown above are any indication.

Now the models on the runway who introduced these clothes first did not look much like the picture above, being as they appeared as clothed walking-sticks. But this beautiful young woman above is one of us ordinary people -- and I think she would be all the more startling for us to see going around in public. She could be our daughter or our granddaughter -- and criminy, can you imagine her walking down Main Street looking like this?

Some of the shorts that appeared on the runway were a more traditional kind - that is, not a bloomer. We've been through the hot pants and go-go boots craze back in the 70s, although we didn't see them being worn at work, unless the work was at a disco or a night club. But now, the designers think that adventuresome young women will like the bloomer look. And maybe they will. Not only is there no accounting for propiety anymore but also no taste left, as far as I am concerned.

Here I have to admit that I am biased. When I was growing up in Long Beach, both the junior high and senior high schools required that for their gym class girls had to wear a standard blue two-piece cotton gym suit. The pants were bloomers, although we didn't call them that. But to insure modesty during athletic endeavors, the elastic in the legs of the shorts did the trick. The problem was that except for those few girls who really had pretty legs, we all looked stupid in them. We hated them. The chubby girls hated them because they showed off how fat their thighs and behinds were. The skinny girls hated them because their legs looked ridiculous hanging from bloused-out pants. We had to wear the same style for all six years of our schooling past elementary school, and we never made our peace with them.

So when I saw the ladies on the runway wearing bloomers as the new look of choice for daytime wear, and when I saw the lovely lady above being shown walking around New York in a bloomer get-up (she was actually an intern who was chosen to illustrate a story on this new "look"), I shook my head and wondered how anyone in their right mind could think they looked good in a pair of puffy shorts -- bloomers.

The article said that long-legged, well-toned, under-30 young women were the only ones who should consider this "look." Well, I suspect there will be plenty of others who see themselves as fitting this category but who you and I will know very well shouldn't have dared to appear in them. Fat legs and thin legs undoubtedly will appear on the streets too.

I apologize ahead of time to those who choose to wear bloomers -- apologize for any snicker they might hear coming out of my mouth, or for pointing at them with a startled look on my face. I can't help it, kids. My six years in bloomers have left me with an image that I can't get past -- the image of looking really stupid in those pants.

Old friends from Poly High School, Long Beach, California about 1953! Bloomers!