I've had this piece in my files for a long time, and I think it is just as funny now as it was when I read it the first time.
During an Ecumenical Conference, someone rushed in and shouted “The building is on fire!”
The METHODISTS raised their hands in horror and cried, “This interferes with our plans.”
The BAPTISTS cried, “Where’s the water?”
The PRESBYTERIANS elected a chairman who was to look into the matter.
The CHRISTIAN SCIENTISTS agreed among themselves that there was no fire.
Some FUNDAMENTALISTS shouted, “This is the vengeance of God.”
The PENTECOSTALS all started talking at once, but no one could understand them.
The LUTHERANS, after debating the matter, posted a notice outside the door declaring that the fire was evil.
The QUAKERS quietly praised God for all the blessing which fire brings us.
Some JEWS, who were present as observers, went around posting a symbol over the doors, hoping the fire would pass over them harmlessly.
The CATHOLICS quickly started a raffle for the building fund.
The CONGREGATIONALISTS and the UNITARIANS shouted, “Every man for himself.”
The EPISCOPALIANS formed a recessional and marched out of the building in grand style.
The JEHOVAH’S WITNESSES went knocking door to door to tell everyone about the fire.
The MORMONS started checking the ancestors of the fire fighters.